Marriage and Family | Choosing a Mate by Making a List

Below is a list of possible characteristics you may want in a mate.

A. Put a “1” to the side of all items that are an absolute MUST in a mate.

B. Put a “2” to the side of any items that are IMPORTANT but negotiable.

C. Put a “3” next to any items you would LIKE but could live without.

D. Cross out any items you WOULD NOT WANT IN a spouse.

E. Add any characteristics not on this list that you feel are NECESSARY and assign them a number, as stated above.

___1. Is friendly and popular with others.

___2. Shows concern and compassion for others.

___3. Respects authority.

___4. Does not use addictive substances such as alcohol or tobacco.

___5. His/her parents have a happy marriage.

___6. Does not use drugs.

___7. Is considered by most to be physically attractive.

___8. Shows affection appropriately.

___9. Is thoughtful.

___10. Attends the same church I do.

___11. Has same religious beliefs.

___12. Is not childish.

___13. Is not moody.

___14. Uses clean language.

___15. Is dependable.

___16. Is responsible for his/her own actions.

___17. Is good with children.

___18. Takes care of self, has good grooming practices.

___19. Is easy to talk to, listens to me, is good at communicating.

___20. Has interests similar to mine.

___21. Is in good physical health.

___22. Is in good mental health.

___23. Is considerate.

___24. Has a good relationship with his/her parents.

___25. Has a sense of humor.

___26. Deals well with conflict and /or disappointment.

___27. Is forgiving.

___28. Is intelligent.

___29. Has experience working, can hold down a job.

___30. Has an appropriate amount of schooling.

___31. Is tidy — keeps things clean and in working order.

___32. My parents approve of her/him.

___33. The people I respect most think highly of him/her.

___34. Desires a normal family life.

___35. Wants children.

___36. Does not intend to have children.

___37. Belongs to my race.

___38. Has a reasonable amount of self-confidence and self-esteem.

___39. Makes me feel good about myself when we are together.

___40. Owns or is buying a car or house.

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