Three Roadblocks to Communication in Marriage
Roadblock #1: Emotional Mind-Reading
Because of a woman’s natural sensitivity, nine times out of ten she will be the first one to spot a problem in a relationship. However, the problem can be so obvious to her that she might think, Surely, my husband is alert enough o see what the problem is. I’m not going to embarrass him by having to draw him a map. Yet, that’s exactly what most men need! Give a man a road map of what issues are important to discuss, and often he’ll be motivated to talk about them. The difference between miscommunication and meaningful communication often comes when a woman is willing to take the extra time to pain the obvious into a picture a man can clearly see and vice-versa.
Roadblock #2: “I No Speaka Your Language . . .”
It seems that there is a “language of the heart” and a “language of the head” often spoken by men and women. “Language of the head”: logical, factual, & detail-oriented (mostly male). “Language of the heart”: thoughts, feelings, goals, & dreams (mostly female). Failing to tap into the unique conversational world of your spouse can lead to all kinds of frustration. What many women fail to understand is that their husbands genuinely may not see or understand the concerns that they’re sharing. Getting angry and frustrated with a man to “motivate” him to a deeper level of understanding rarely works. Often, it can make things worse.
Roadblock #3: Test the Soil of the Relationship to Determine Its Needed Moisture Level
Women often report that they need at least one hour a day in intimate conversation to keep the marriage alive. The hour needed doesn’t have to happen all at the same time, but it can be spread out over the course of the day.