The Unknown

I have written on this blog before about the genetic testing my neurologist recommended. I waited six months or so for the test to come back and at least another month while the results sat on his desk. Well, I finally got my point across to him that I wanted to know what the test had revealed (a message a day saying, “Would you please finally call me with my results?” will get you an answer). The results? Absolutely normal—no genetic mutation seen.

Yes, on many levels that is a very, very positive development. My sons are at a much lower risk of developing my form of dystonia than they would be otherwise. I must confess that I’ve felt a great deal of guilt about the possibility of passing this crippling disease on to them. Yes, I know in my head that were they to be thus afflicted it wouldn’t be my fault, but on the heart level, well, it feels as though I would be responsible. Watching one of my sons struggle would be a fate far worse than struggling myself.

On another level, the results are quite disappointing. What treatment options are available to me? Well, they’re limited, and there’s no guarantee that either of the treatment protocols—botox injections or deep brain stimulation—would be successful, and my insurance company refuses to pay for either. What does my future look like? Obviously, no one’s future can be known, but it would be nice to know what probable course my disease may take. What about my sons? Just because this genetic test is clean does not mean that I do not have a mutation in a gene that was not tested, and it’s still quite possible—although less likely—that I have passed my dystonia on to my sons.




Because my test was normal, there are still many questions that are unanswered. I’ve lived with unanswered questions for a number of years, and I may live with those unanswered questions for the rest of my days.

Yet, there are many things I know for a fact, and I choose to dwell on the knowns in life instead of the unknowns. What do I know for certain?

  • I know there is a God in heaven who hears my prayers.

  • I know I have a family who loves me.

  • I know that heaven is real.

  • I know I have brothers and sisters in Christ who stand ready to help me.

  • I know I have a God who sent his Son to die for my sins.

  • I know I have talents which can be used in God’s service.

  • I know my sins have been washed in Jesus’ blood.

  • I know that God reigns regardless of who is elected President in November.

  • I know God has revealed his Word to me and that studying that Word will increase my faith.

  • I know God will strengthen me when my strength fails.

Focusing on the knowns in life is just as biblical as it can be: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8). Focus on the good in life. Because there is a God in heaven, the good in life will always outweigh the bad!

God bless!

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